Thoughts, Feelings, Music

Do you know that feeling, when you see your crush and your feelings are going up and down. It’s a good feeling. It’s like a rollercoaster. Your feelings get tangled up a bit. You have butterflies in your belly. It’s a great feeling. And It’s amazing. 

Sometimes i think it was better the way before than it is now. Sometimes it was better like in the old times than it is nowadays. You regret that you did it. But what can you do? The only thing you can do is to wait that it will be okay again. That is all you can do for now. 

You have a bad time. You don’t wabt anymore, you want to give up on yourself, you have no energy anymore. You just don’t want anymore. Then a friend comes and tells you that you shouldn’t give up, that there’s always a way out, that there’s always a good ending. And he/she isn’t just talking like he/she didn’t expirienced it. That’s what good friend is and you should be happy because there are only a few true friends out there.

I hope that it will be better. Not just because I want the old times back again but because I want her to be happy again. When I see her and she sees me she looks a bit sad, a bit down. And I can’t just go over to her and help her because I am the reason for the sadness she has. I am the core of this whole tragedy. I don’t know what I should do when I see her. Not only because I don’t know how she will react when I talk to her but because I fear that I ruin more and more of what is left from the broken pieces. I know that it needs time to heal and that with time it will be okay again. But I really don’t have time to wait until it is okay again. But I have to even if every single day is great struggle. What I also fear what she thinks about me now. I don’t know what goes through her mind when she sees. That is what I fear. But it’s a fact that it won’t be the same anymore. It is like a wound. It takes time to be healed.  But when it is healed there is always a scar left. It won’t be completely healed. And that is the same with the situation between her and me. There will always be a scar left if you want it or not. But you have just to hope that it will be better.